one day you’re struggling so hard that even taking a breath is hard to manage, and it feels like you’re begin smothered by the constant weight of just having to be.
but you manage.
you put one foot in front of the other, and you take time to be thankful for the little things in your life, and then all of a sudden days and weeks and months have passed by and suddenly it’s not so hard anymore. you’re not sure what happened or what changed, but you’re not questioning it anymore.
you tilt your head up to the fluorescent bulbs, swipe on some mascara, smile at yourself in the dirty mirror and you see the spark in your eyes that you haven’t seen in years.
i can’t believe it. i feel … happy …
every day since you could remember, it was a constant struggle trying to get yourself out of bed, to the next day’s activity, to wash and feed yourself. you didn’t think there was any way on earth you would ever be able to manage all of this on your own. you felt weak because if everyone else could handle it, why couldn’t you?
but then something happened.
you stopped fixating. you stopped worrying so much about everything. you changed your scenery, you started doing things that you liked, you took a little time every day to do something that you wanted to do. you learned how to love yourself with as much compassion, affection and tenderness as you did for your friends and family.
sometimes it’ll feel like the world is too heavy for you to carry on your own. and then sometimes you learn how to manage because maybe all it takes is just letting go.